Sunday, January 17, 2010

Life Lesson: How to let a guy down tastefully

Okay, I'm up again thinking in the wee hours of the morning about my daughter and what I want her to learn from her mother.  This waking up early, thinking thing seems to be becoming a habit...I hope not cause I actually enjoy sleeping.  Anyway, this morning I'm thinking about one of the hardest things that I had to learn on my own which was letting guys down the right way.  Since this is one of those dating kinda topics I'm going to go ahead and rate this post "M" for mature, cause who knows what may come out...he he he. 

When I was dating I met a guy that I was completely in to.  We had been dating for about three months when we decided to go out to a club one night.  While out, I was approached be another guy while my guy-friend was in the restroom.  When he came out and began to approach our table the other guy had just began to leave.  I had been nice and polite, smiling and letting him know that I was with someone.  However, the persistent stranger continued with sly tactics hoping to find out just how happy I was with my guy friend.  When he returned to the table he spoke four little words that would stick with me for a lifetime, he said "you are too friendly."  He had apparently been standing back watching the encounter between me and this stranger from afar.  I was shocked by his comment and offended actually because I'd clearly stated that I was already in a relationship.  I didn't really get it that night, heck, I didn't really get it until a few years afterwards and after I'd been told that by others, but I did eventually get it.  He continued and explained "You are an attractive woman and men are going to be persistent.  They are confused you are telling them no in a polite and nice way and smiling the whole time.  You have to be straight and to the point or they will continue to advance."  I took that as him being controlling and insecure...I was such a dingdong. 

I thought that you're suppose to be nice and polite to people, and being attractive is not a free ticket to treat others rude or mean.  I wouldn't want someone to be harsh or rude to me if they weren't interested.  But what I didn't get was, men are a different breed and my friend understood that.  They already expect to get rejected by women at some point, so I wasn't doing them any favors by sugar-coating it.  As a matter of fact my own tip-toe-let-down style was confusing, sending mixed messages.  Almost like "yeah I'm seeing someone, but you still have a chance"...not cool!  I want my daughter to know that you can let a guy down and not be rude.  It can actually be done very tastefully and with finesse.  That's the way "ladies" do it.  The best way is to be direct and straight to the point.  A simple "Thank you for the compliment or I'm flattered that you noticed me, but I'm not interested"  works everytime.  There is no need to explain anything, or say you're in a relationship or any of that.  They need to know that they shouldn't pass GO, cause most of the time they have backup lines for any passive aggressive remark you can think of.  Most of all, you don't have to feel bad or get pressured into taking a number that you really don't want.

Thank goodness my daughters just eight and I hope (please, please, please God) that I don't have to worry about this conversation until she's well into her twenties;)

PS.  I hope my god-daughter is reading this...Hi baby girl, listen to your G-Momma okay...xoxoxoxo.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

On My Mind

A few weeks ago I wrote a list of my New Year resolutions and at the very top was consistancy.  Well judging by my blog, I would say I broke a world record with how fast I screwed that one up.  In my defense;)...I've been doing a lot of thinking about the direction that I want this blog to go.  I've read many of the other mommy blogs and sure I want free products to review, have a 1,000 people following me, list all the cool deals that I've found, and maybe even turn a profit for my time.  The bottom line is though, this blog is a product of me, and I know that I have to "keep it real" and stay true to myself.  I wanted a blog where I could share what I've learned and hope that someone was interested enough to read it.  So that is what I'm going to do.  A fore-warning though, in the world of me, that means I will probably be talking about all kinds of stuff, and be all over the place.  NO STRUCTURE...that's my motto!!!  So please, please, please don't delete me from your following list.

Ok, moving on to what's on my mind this morning.  I'm going to keep this short and sweet, but I had to write about this right 6:30 in the morning, for what reason I don't know.  I've been thinking about my daughter and the qualities that I want her to take from her childhood home and experience.  What things will she look back on and remember with admiration?  What will she hate me for?  What qualities will she pass on to my grandchildren?  All of these thoughts as I'm sitting there burping my son...yeah, I'm crazy!  Anyway, I began to feel worried.  I started thinking about things that I've adopted from my mother, mannerism, values, beliefs, traditions.  I thought about how some of the things that I didn't want to inherit, are still within me and how it's a constant battle to set those things aside.  All of a sudden, after a very smelly (and loud) burp, it came to epiphany!  (So here's the part where I get to tell you what mamma knows)  We all have to take what we need and dump the rest.  That part is not up to me, it's up to my daughter.  I can only give what I have, the rest she'll have to find on her own.  That's one of the fun parts of life, figuring out who we are and what makes us unique.  It's why I'm not a carbon copy of my mother...thank God for that!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Movie Review: Extraordinary Measures

My first movie of the new year, Extraordinary Measures, featuring Brendan Frasier, Harrison Ford, and Keri Russell.  I went to see this movie with one of my favorite girlfriends and we had a blast, quietly whispering back and forth during the movie.  It was definitely one that made you consider some things outloud to a friend.  We weren't the only ones doing just hush, ok! 

Anyway, Extraordinary Measures is based on the true story of one man's relentless determination to find a cure for the disease that threatens two of his children's lives.  John Crowley, played by Brendan Frasier, finds himself staring into his daughter's eyes after a horrific battle with the symptoms of Pompe disease. He knows of a doctor that has been studying the disease and has tried several times to contact him.  One of the funniest scenes in the movie is the first, not so successful, attempt that John makes to contact the good doctor.  Escentric reseacher, Dr. Stonehill (Harrison Ford), has a treatment theory but no funding for labwork.  Upon first being introduced to Dr. Stonehill in the movie, you really wonder if John should take a chance on this guy.  When John and Dr. Stonehill finally meet, things get really interesting. 

Extraordinary Measures makes you experience all types of emotions, sometimes at the same time.  I teared up at least two times.  It's funny, witty, intelligent, and most of all, enlightening.  I'd never heard of this disease and to see families suffering through a disease that effects children, well it's heartbreaking.  I thouroughly enjoyed the movie and would encourage you to see it. I'm all for a good movie that makes you feel empowered, and Extraordinary Measures does just that.

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year, New Resolutions

For the past four years I have taken my New Year resolutions very seriously.  I decided, after feeling like the most procrastanistic person on the planet, that I had to get serious about improving my life.  After all, that's what resolutions are all about right???  So now I take my time and consider ten changes that I would like to make or accomplishments that I would like to obtain for the year.  I write them down on index cards and hang them on my computer armoire so that I can see them each day.  It's great doing that because they are always in my face so that I'm not too distracted from the day to day grind.  This year is no different, so I'm going to share them with you (as if this is the information that you've been waiting for all year).

Here we go:

1.  Be consistant (my biggest challenge)
2.  Do something fun or relaxing each day
3.  Be good to myself
4.  Be conscience of a positive thought each day (very important, I can get pretty pessimistic)
5.  Continue my journal (here's where the be consistant part kicks in)
6.  Maintain close friendships
7.  Connect with my family (I would give this a difficulty level of 10, with 1 being easy)
8.  Be a better mother (I'm always striving to do this)
9.  Create and stick to a pesonal schedule (If I don't do this, I work all day...not good for the marriage)
10.  Know thy self (self explainatory)

Well now you know what I'll be up to this year, if you catch me slippin feel free to kick me in the butt (via phone or email, of course:)