Tuesday, January 12, 2010

On My Mind

A few weeks ago I wrote a list of my New Year resolutions and at the very top was consistancy.  Well judging by my blog, I would say I broke a world record with how fast I screwed that one up.  In my defense;)...I've been doing a lot of thinking about the direction that I want this blog to go.  I've read many of the other mommy blogs and sure I want free products to review, have a 1,000 people following me, list all the cool deals that I've found, and maybe even turn a profit for my time.  The bottom line is though, this blog is a product of me, and I know that I have to "keep it real" and stay true to myself.  I wanted a blog where I could share what I've learned and hope that someone was interested enough to read it.  So that is what I'm going to do.  A fore-warning though, in the world of me, that means I will probably be talking about all kinds of stuff, and be all over the place.  NO STRUCTURE...that's my motto!!!  So please, please, please don't delete me from your following list.

Ok, moving on to what's on my mind this morning.  I'm going to keep this short and sweet, but I had to write about this right now...at 6:30 in the morning, for what reason I don't know.  I've been thinking about my daughter and the qualities that I want her to take from her childhood home and experience.  What things will she look back on and remember with admiration?  What will she hate me for?  What qualities will she pass on to my grandchildren?  All of these thoughts as I'm sitting there burping my son...yeah, I'm crazy!  Anyway, I began to feel worried.  I started thinking about things that I've adopted from my mother, mannerism, values, beliefs, traditions.  I thought about how some of the things that I didn't want to inherit, are still within me and how it's a constant battle to set those things aside.  All of a sudden, after a very smelly (and loud) burp, it came to me...an epiphany!  (So here's the part where I get to tell you what mamma knows)  We all have to take what we need and dump the rest.  That part is not up to me, it's up to my daughter.  I can only give what I have, the rest she'll have to find on her own.  That's one of the fun parts of life, figuring out who we are and what makes us unique.  It's why I'm not a carbon copy of my mother...thank God for that!

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