I'm not the go-to person when it comes to "social savvy-ness" admittedly, so forgive me if this post is a little off color. I just know how I fell in certain situations and what I think is fair and unfair. I'm always keeping my eye out for real-life learning situations and I think this is one of them. The only problem is I'm unsure if what I teach is what should be taught. Something happened with my beloved Sunshyne this past weekend that has been bothering me and I'm struggling with how to deal with it. Perhaps some of you could help me with my issue in a "socially savvy" way. So here's my letter:
The kiddos and I were invited to a friend of ours home for dinner on Sunday evening. They live right down the street from us and we've known them for about three years now. My daughter refers to the little girl that lives there as her BFF. Sunshyne has spent most of her free time with this little girl over the past year and a half and invites her to everything that she is involved in. So now that you have a little history, I'll move on. As we are sitting at the dinner table, the conversation shifted to what the children did during the weekend. The little girl begins to tell us about what she did and said "I had a sleepover and Maria* (another girl that lives down the street) came over, we had a girls night," and smiled. When Sunshyne heard that, a very sad look came over her face and she looked at me and made a quiet grunting noise. I looked at her and shook my head slightly to imply not to let on that she feels down about what was said. The girls mother quickly changed the subject and we continued on with our evening.
After we left I asked Sunshyne how she felt about her BFF saying that she had a sleepover. She said she felt sad because she didn't invite her over for the girls night. I told her that I would feel sad too. I haven't really said anything else to her about it but talked it over with my hubby and he said something may have happened between them that I don't know about. I don't think so, just like Sunshyne is BF with BFF, I'm pretty close to BFF's mama so I think something somewhere down the pipeline would have seeped out. Anyway, like I said before all I know is that my little girl was hurt by the situation and I'm MAD. I don't know about you but I feel all kinds of primitive STUFF when it comes to my kids. I was sitting there with a smile on my face but my mind was looking a little more like "Whatthe#*&#*@**....and &%#$@&&#***....We're LEAVING!!!" However, that's not the Christian-like way to think, so I regrouped and continued on gracefully with our evening.
I think that I handled the situation "okay" but it seems like there is something to be taught here and I'm missing it. Maybe something about feelings or how to handle a situation. I think that my feelings are getting in the way of being able to figure it out though. Please Help!
Well, that's my Dear Abby letter, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Primitive Reactions in Texas
* name has been changed to protect the innocent